they were the saddest words i think she'd ever spoken to me. "i just want someone who loves me, and who is kind to me." we'd had talks of this before, but this time.... it sounded so empty and so sincere all at once. she sat in front of me at noon on a tuesday and begged for relief. i knew i had to do everything i could to give it to her. it was going to be a fight. it was not going to be easy, but i've been pretty good at tough love for more than a minute of my life.
she cried. i cried. she laughed. i laughed. and every so many hours, the demon would rear its ugly head and it was all she could think about. he was insatiable. after hours of the back and forth, finally she slept. i was terrified to leave her.
it was hard to understand. hard to watch. and mostly, it made me sad because i've known her at her best. we were a long way from that.
hours passed. i tried to sleep. i would startle awake thinking i had failed her by coming home. had i abandoned her in her most desperate hour?
i made contact. she was alive. we had a plan.
we hit the road. the hours were riddled with moments of sadness followed by moments of genius. the profession of our love for one another was never ending. she said it repeatedly.... "how'd i get so lucky?" all i could say was.... ya just did sweetie. the turmoil continued for hours, but eventually we found rest.
life leads us to people. there is something bigger than me. the desire to help other people find that in themselves has always been with me. i suppose it will never leave.
