I cannot quite remember what it felt like to fall in love. I do not think it happened in one fell swoop. I guess I should say, that if that is in fact how it happened, I was unable to recognize it because I knew not what it really was.
How was I ever to know? It all hit me one day. The idea of life without him immediately brought me to tears. I felt so deeply about traveling the rest of my days alone. It was simply unbearable.
There was no particular reason for the thought. No life event that put it into any real perspective. Simply the thought of coming home to an empty house that made me incredibly sad. And then life happens. You experience moments that allow your mind to wander to the darkest corners and contemplate your heartfelt fears becoming reality. And now, you have to decide. Fight or flight? Commit or abandon? In every instance the pull to stay, fight, commit, wins over. Every single time.
That's how I knew I'd found that perfectly described "Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't live without each other, love."
New year. New love.
